I wrote this in the backseat of a car during a road trip. This post may have a couple of grammar errors and a couple of different ideas. But, this is how I truly felt.
Let's get into it.
I can't sugar-coat it or make it seem insignificant. Point blank, being a young black male without a father sucks. It worse than the stench of rotten eggs, and it feels worse than being hit by a truck at high speed.
Being a fatherless male is like having half of your self taken away at birth. Being a father black male means going through life without a round-the-clock mentor, a disciplinary, a friend, a dad.
I mean having a mom is a blessing within itself. Most fatherless males usually have a mom. However, if it took two to create, then it is best to take two to mold and build.
And, let's be honest, it's some questions no dude feels comfortable or feels right asking their mom. That is just one of the reason why not having a father sucks. At the very least, it is a inconvenience. But, having a father comes in handy more times than just asking awkward or curious questions.
A dad shows you how life works. A dad shows you how to be a man. A dad shows you how to be a father, and when it's time for you to crave new life, you have a indication on how to raise that child.
A dad/father shows and tells you that a man's word is as solid as any contract or law bonding document.
Not having a father means to some not learning how to bait a hook or change a tire. Or worst, going through puberty with more questions than answers. It also, means growing up not knowing how to treat a lady properly. Or, not knowing how to communicate with other brothers.
Being a fatherless male is hard, but many of us are just that. Hard in terms of the struggle. But, hard in the thought that we are stronger and disturbingly hardened by the hardship of not having a dad.
We are not godless or without common sense, but we are without the person that is supposed to teach us right from wrong. But, not just right from wrong, also left from right. Teach us how to stay on the straight and narrow. It sad I know.
There are and always will be days/nights were you wish that man (who is your earthly creator) nothing but the worst. There are days right now, when you think about him you instantly have a bad taste in your mouth or have negative vibes in the atmosphere.
There are times were you are heavy-hearted at the fact that the man that made you and is responsible for you is not around. You will feel weird at basketball and football games. Seeing all the over black dads in the crowd.
You are aware that their are black dads. The media does not show them, but they are active and there. However, you still feel some type of way that yours is not around.
You will even feel for others.
You will feel sorry for your mother who has to spread herself thin. Your mom is just trying to keep the family together. Having to play the role of nurturer, mother, bread-winning, and disciplinary. Having to play two role and work (at times) two-to-three jobs.
Last, you will feel sad and burdened for your younger siblings. Knowing that they look up to you. That they need a male role model. But, you know that you ain't perfect. You know it's a lot of things you don't know yourself. You teach them what you know, but it still doesn't feel like enough. Your not the perfect role model, but you try. You try to stay solid, even during the days that you are broken inside. You stay strong for them and for your mom.
You try to keep a straight face and a calm demeanor. You try to be there for your brothers and sister. You try to help with whatever you can inside and outside the household for moms. However, deep-down you feel like a weird consolation compared to the things a father can bring to the table.
And, when that day finally comes. After college, after several relationships and breakups. After many challenges, you will see the cycle of life. When a nurse puts that tiny weight into your arms in a blue or pink towel, you will make a vow to yourself. You will be a better man than he was. That you will create and restore a legacy to your last name.
That no matter how hard the circumstance or how many times you and your child mom disagree, you will always be their for your child. You will always be there for your baby's mom. You will always try to do the right thing. And, you will be proud that at the very least, you tried.
Let's get into it.
I can't sugar-coat it or make it seem insignificant. Point blank, being a young black male without a father sucks. It worse than the stench of rotten eggs, and it feels worse than being hit by a truck at high speed.
Being a fatherless male is like having half of your self taken away at birth. Being a father black male means going through life without a round-the-clock mentor, a disciplinary, a friend, a dad.
I mean having a mom is a blessing within itself. Most fatherless males usually have a mom. However, if it took two to create, then it is best to take two to mold and build.
And, let's be honest, it's some questions no dude feels comfortable or feels right asking their mom. That is just one of the reason why not having a father sucks. At the very least, it is a inconvenience. But, having a father comes in handy more times than just asking awkward or curious questions.
A dad shows you how life works. A dad shows you how to be a man. A dad shows you how to be a father, and when it's time for you to crave new life, you have a indication on how to raise that child.
A dad/father shows and tells you that a man's word is as solid as any contract or law bonding document.
Not having a father means to some not learning how to bait a hook or change a tire. Or worst, going through puberty with more questions than answers. It also, means growing up not knowing how to treat a lady properly. Or, not knowing how to communicate with other brothers.
Being a fatherless male is hard, but many of us are just that. Hard in terms of the struggle. But, hard in the thought that we are stronger and disturbingly hardened by the hardship of not having a dad.
We are not godless or without common sense, but we are without the person that is supposed to teach us right from wrong. But, not just right from wrong, also left from right. Teach us how to stay on the straight and narrow. It sad I know.
There are and always will be days/nights were you wish that man (who is your earthly creator) nothing but the worst. There are days right now, when you think about him you instantly have a bad taste in your mouth or have negative vibes in the atmosphere.
There are times were you are heavy-hearted at the fact that the man that made you and is responsible for you is not around. You will feel weird at basketball and football games. Seeing all the over black dads in the crowd.
You are aware that their are black dads. The media does not show them, but they are active and there. However, you still feel some type of way that yours is not around.
You will even feel for others.
You will feel sorry for your mother who has to spread herself thin. Your mom is just trying to keep the family together. Having to play the role of nurturer, mother, bread-winning, and disciplinary. Having to play two role and work (at times) two-to-three jobs.
Last, you will feel sad and burdened for your younger siblings. Knowing that they look up to you. That they need a male role model. But, you know that you ain't perfect. You know it's a lot of things you don't know yourself. You teach them what you know, but it still doesn't feel like enough. Your not the perfect role model, but you try. You try to stay solid, even during the days that you are broken inside. You stay strong for them and for your mom.
You try to keep a straight face and a calm demeanor. You try to be there for your brothers and sister. You try to help with whatever you can inside and outside the household for moms. However, deep-down you feel like a weird consolation compared to the things a father can bring to the table.
And, when that day finally comes. After college, after several relationships and breakups. After many challenges, you will see the cycle of life. When a nurse puts that tiny weight into your arms in a blue or pink towel, you will make a vow to yourself. You will be a better man than he was. That you will create and restore a legacy to your last name.
That no matter how hard the circumstance or how many times you and your child mom disagree, you will always be their for your child. You will always be there for your baby's mom. You will always try to do the right thing. And, you will be proud that at the very least, you tried.
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